October 24, 2017*This weekend, we had the opportunity to attend the Presbytery Meeting (of Sante Fe) hosted at the beautiful Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, NM. We were also able to partake in Story Telling, as we told a small story that focused around our discernment into this year of service. Below is the story I shared…*
“But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.” – Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love
I used this quote at the end of my discernment process, in a blog-draft I was writing to detail and capture my reflection and thoughts.
The one about Answering God’s Call, as I asked my dad if this quote sounded to bold to accompany the announcement that I had just accepted my YAV year placement to Los Angeles, California, where I’d be serving the population of people experiencing homelessness.
Yep, Los Angeles. I knew then, that God doesn’t call us to be comfortable, hence why I had intentions to go and serve at Skid Row. But I hadn’t quite experienced what it meant to put myself in situations where I’d be in trouble if God didn’t actually come through.
I wrote this quote before my plans got turned upside-down, before I got the call two weeks after graduation that informed me I would not be going to Los Angeles as a YAV and that I’d need to start the discernment process again.
Two of my spiritual mentors shared words of healing and affirmation throughout that day:
The first was: “Your change of location, does not mean a change of call from God.”
And the second was: “The Lord gives you a vision, the Lord kills the vision, then the Lord gives you the faith for the vision.”
In the moment, each of those were great and profound.
But, it wasn’t until I found myself telling another mentor later that day that “what makes me the most disappointed is all the hope and anticipation I had in going to Los Angeles, that was no longer anything… like I had really envisioned myself there, in that community, serving those people,” and in that very moment in the middle of sharing that, I was mentally picturing the notes that I had written at church the very day before.
“Living with Expectations VS. Living in Expectancy”
Expectations represent the hope and anticipation, which have an end-value, like all those real things I had imagined and was also really hung on up.
When actually living in expectancy, requires an authentic level of surrender and faith in the unknown.
And from that moment on, I had a change of heart that has brought me here to New Mexico and has affected how I’ve answered the countless “Well, what are you expecting now? What are you hoping for?” questions since then.
This experience has allowed me to be present in the journey, filled with peace and trust in the moments of uncertainty, and the ability to recognize the times where one truly needs to embrace the need for surrender…
The importance of learning to be comfortable in it – in the midst of situations, where the average person IS afraid we’d be in trouble if God didn’t come through.
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